Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
