I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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