is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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