When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
