We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
