so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
