physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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