Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We left an ass print on the piano.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
