she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
