Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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