we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
