We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it was like his penis was on wheels.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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