He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
