I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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