If i come over, it means nothing
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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