the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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