I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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