I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
