Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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