Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
