Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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