I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Found the puke drawer
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
