Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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