I wish I only lived at night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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