Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
