Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
