I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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