anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
