No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
