Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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