How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
