honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
