I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
