Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
