yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
