So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got so high we made milksteak
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
