I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
