Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There r osticjed everywhere
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
