Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
