I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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