how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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