his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
handjob tips. give me some.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
