I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Enjoy the penises
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize