therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
