You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
