Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
