He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
