i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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