I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
