Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
