one might say we're banned from that church
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
