So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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