Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
