My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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