I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
