fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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