I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
