Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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