Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
