the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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