alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize