You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
