I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize