Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
