dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
