Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm always down for nudity.
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