her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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