Will you blow on my dice?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
