Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

"it" just moved

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny

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(317): View more from Indiana

So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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(305): View more from Florida

If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

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(571): View more from Virginia

FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.

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(276): View more from Virginia

I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....

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(408): View more from California

that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence

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(973): View more from New Jersey

thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies

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