My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
