I'm gonna have a badass scar
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
